Post 5: (Chapters 8 – 10, pages 80-120) As you read the next three chapters, pick specific lines to respond to. What lines did you like or dislike the most from each chapter? Why? Do you think these lines are important to the overall development of the story? Do you have any problems with the way race, class or gender is being portrayed here? Do you think these lines relate at all to your life? Why did you pick them? What do they mean to you?
Use these lines to create a found poem you feel relates to the big critical issues in the story, post the poem to the blog – record it and upload it to the blog so blog members can listen to it as well. You should try using voice thread for this activity
Post 5: (Chapters 8 – 10, pages 80-120) As you read the next three chapters, pick specific lines to respond to. What lines did you like or dislike the most from each chapter? Why? Do you think these lines are important to the overall development of the story? Do you have any problems with the way race, class or gender is being portrayed here? Do you think these lines relate at all to your life? Why did you pick them? What do they mean to you?
ReplyDelete“I still listened to my mother, but I also learned how to let her words blow through me” (Rose Hsu Jordan, 191)
I loved this line! This just really hit home for me. First, because whenever I would get mad at anything my mom said to me I would always answer her back and it would start a fight. My brother would always say to me “Randi, just say ok to what she says and do or think whatever you want anyway. Don’t get so upset.” But I couldn’t help it. My brother has a lot more patience than I do. Finally, when I got to college, I mastered this skill-I grit my teeth and agree with my mom when she is lecturing me and I “let her words blow through me”. Secondly, I think that this line kind of defines the journey that the daughters are going through. When they are young, they take everything their mothers say so literally without question. As they become adults, they disagree with their mothers more but through their experiences learn how to separate their own feelings from their mothers without getting angry and causing fights.
In Wavery Jong’s story on pages 182- 183 there is a discussion between her and her mom that really stresses the level of disconnect that they have because of their different cultures. It is kind of sad that mother and daughter are so separated by this because they are family, but yet live in almost different worlds.
My mother acted as if she hadn’t heard me right. “This is true, we always know how to win. So now you know what is inside you, almost all good stuff from Taiyun.”
“I guess we’ve evolved to just winning in the toy and electronics market”, I said.
“How do you know this?” she asked eagerly.
“You see it on everything. Made in Taiwan.”
“Ai!” she cried loudly. “Im not from Taiwan!”
And just like that, the fragile connection we were starting to build snapped.
I think this conversation kind of defines a huge issue/barrier between characters and on a bigger level highlights the disconnect we have from other cultures. If a mom and daughter are disconnected due to their cultures, what is this saying about the world?
A line that made me feel bad was in Waverly Jong’s story on page 170.
“My mother knows how to hit a nerve. And the pain I feel is worse than any other kind of misery.” Later on in the chapter Waverly Jong questions if her mom had poisoned her marriage. This whole issue bothers me because 1. It is depressing that there is so much hurt and pain between and mother and daughter’s relationship. 2.I don’t like how Waverly Jong doesn’t just express her feelings to her mother. She is carrying a pretty big burden of having to deflect the pain her mother inflicts on her verbally and emotionally, especially if she thinks her mom got into her head so badly that she helped ruin a marriage.
Here is my poem: The whole voice thing wasn't working because my computer decided to hate me and my internet isn't working.
ReplyDeleteI listened..as her words blew right through me.
Good things inside me, how do you know this?
I'm not from Taiwan she said.
Fragile connection being built, falls and shatters with fractures as deep as the ones my mom gives me with her words that may not blow right through me.
Here is my poem...
ReplyDeleteMother Says
I used to believe everything my mother said,
even when I didn’t know what she meant
“A girl is like a young tree, you must stand tall and
listen to your mother standing next to you.”
“See what happens when you don’t listen to your mother”
“A mother is best. A mother knows what is inside you”
“Not too many good things”
“This is not so good”
She could make me see black where there once was white,
white where there was once black
Where true words came from
Shut
up
I realized I was no better than who I was
I saw what I had been fighting for: It was for me
“Why do you not speak up for yourself,” she said.
The power of my words was that strong
My mother gave it to me
Must be born this way
Learned this skill from
my mother
I chose these lines because the relationship between mother and daughter appears to be central to every single person's story throughout the book. I focused on the conflict arising within these relationships, starting with everything mothers say to their daughters in the last few chapters. Most of it is very degrading. The mothers are trying to prove to their daughters that they need each other, and that mother is always right, "mother is best". I have a problem with these perspectives, but we have to keep in mind that these characters were born into a different culture. Regardless of whether or not mothers are in control of their daughters, I see women as a whole having the power throughout this novel. Especially when Rose stands up to her husband and refuses to sign his version of the divorce papers. Slowly, but surely, these characters are beginning to stand up for what they believe in, which is surprisingly what their mothers wanted all along.
Part of the conflict revolves around the high expectations of mothers for their daughters. However, I would argue that the daughters in the novel misunderstand their mothers' intentions. They always see the worst, when in fact, we see that the mothers come around and make a profound difference in their daughters' lives. In a way, these daughters are turning into versions of their mothers. They learned the power of words from them and will someday pass that down to their own children.
Check out the Page titled "Voice Thread" on the blog for the audio version of my poem...
ReplyDeleteMother Knows Best
ReplyDeleteStill I was not worried.
You shouldn’t get so upset.
Nothing is wrong with my heart.
Why are you so nervous?
Her look was one of painful denial.
What is more important,
explore fun or explore sickness?
I was quivering.
Stunned by what she said.
In not knowing what she meant.
And everybody could see this.
Where it was easy to attack me.
I used to believe everything my mother said.
A mother is best.
A mother knows what is inside you.
She never thinks anybody is good enough for anything.
I gave up.
And then we did the usual routine.
I chose these lines because I wanted to create a poem showing the power the mothers have over their daughters. Throughout the novel, we have seen the daughters second guessing themselves because of their mothers or we see the daughters struggling to come to terms with their relationship with their mothers. Even though I have developed a strong dislike for Waverly, I used a lot of the lines for my poem from her vignette with Rich and the dinner. Putting my dislike aside, I think many of the lines provide a rich background for the central idea of the struggle between mother and daughter. Without these lines, we would not be able to see how the JL women overcome their interpersonal battles.
In a way, I can see how these lines relate to my life because I have a mother who knows EXACTLY what to say to me to get a reaction out of me. Although not as tricky as Lindo, she knows how to strike a nerve and I can't retaliate because after all, she is my mother! In addition, my mother and I fall back into our routine as my poem suggests and I forgive her for her treacherous ways...until the next time that is.....
Oh and the audio version is on the voicethread website. Click the link on the actual post to hear it!
ReplyDeleteRandi: I feel like you and I have had very similar experiences with our relationships with our mothers. I enjoy reading about your experience. You said that daughters as they get older disagree with their mothers more but it is through “their experiences learn how to separate their own feelings from their mothers.” I think this is so true, in the story, as you mention it is much more clear cut that there are cultural differences. But I see it even in my own life, especially when I went off to college and dealt with experiences and issues that my mother never went through because she did not attend college. So I think this tension between generations can be seen in all cultures not just immigrant experiences. I have many times tried to let my mother’s words blow through me but I think no matter how hard we try the words still leave a mark, even if it is really small it’s still there.
ReplyDeleteTim:
ReplyDeleteI like the lines, “I realized I was no better than who I was
I saw what I had been fighting for: It was for me
“Why do you not speak up for yourself,” she said.”
I think you point out a central theme which is cultural differences and relationships between mother and daughter. The daughters, from the reading, seem to be struggling with how to deal with being who they are and who their mothers want them to be. I never thought about the daughters’ misunderstanding their mother’s intentions but that is a good point. While I am reading this I am mostly only looking through it as a reader response, how I am so similar to these girls and the struggling relationships with their mothers. You wrote, “Slowly, but surely, these characters are beginning to stand up for what they believe in, which is surprisingly what their mothers wanted all along.” I just had a conversation with my mother a little bit ago with my mother. I wrote in another response that I just posted today, that my mother has never seemed please that I would go into teaching and she wanted me to do something else with my career choice. In general, her and I have a very stressed relationship. But very similar to what you wrote, my mother and I once again were in another argument but in the end she was happy that I was happy and it hasn’t been until the last year at most, that her and I have begun to genuinely understand each other and where we each were coming from. And looking at it this way maybe I was misconstruing my mother’s actions and intentions. I think that is a very good point.
I have a question for you. How do you feel reading this as a male? Do you have similar experiences with your mother? Or your father?
Amanda:
ReplyDeleteI think you picked up on a good perspective of the mother/daughter relationships in the book. Our mothers, whether or not they’re there for us, have extraordinary power over how we perceive ourselves. I think it is really interesting that you chose most of your lines from the scene with Rich at dinner.
The good about posting late: I can comment on what you guys have said.
ReplyDeleteHere is my poem:
Why are you so nervous?
You don’t know my mother…
Explore fun or explore sickness? She said
I couldn’t fend off the strength of her will anymore,
her ability to make me see black where there was once white,
white where there was once black.
My mother knows how to hit a nerve.
And the pain I feel is worse then any other kind of misery.
I fought hard, with fear and desperation.
I said I never knew how much I loved Ted until I saw how much he could hurt me.
And everybody could see this, where it was easy to attack me.
I chose these lines because while reading this section I couldn’t help but notice the disappointment and hurt that can come out of the relationship between parent and child and even between romantic partners. I think the line that hits closest to home for me is the line, “And the pain I feel is worse then any other kind of misery.” I know that with my own relationship with my mother it has caused me a different kind of hurt unlike any other forms of relationships that I have had. The scene in which the mother said “explore fun or explore sickness?” really stood out to me in that her mother is very strict and straight to the point. My mother precedes to tell me all of the ‘serious’ things that are going on and never discusses ‘happy’ things. Sometimes I feel like she has the attitude that why should we be happy when there are other terrible things going on in the world. The last line stood more as a point of vulnerability, I think there are certain things in my life that I feel everyone can see where I am the most susceptible to getting hurt and sometimes I feel like my mother and even my father know where these points are, Amanda said that her mother knows just what to say to get under her nerves and that is also how it is with my mother.
my voice thread is posted next to Amanda's voice thread so when you listen to hers mine follows. I posted it as a comment.
Mothers are tough. For me, it is my father who knows just how to push my buttons. At the same time, I feel like their words hold experience and somehow end up usually being right. So many times throughout this book a mother says something that makes me mad, but then it turns out to be true or philosophical and makes complete sense within the context of the daughter's life. I wonder if families are cycles that we cannot escape. We are bound to end up acting like our parents one way or another, products of our environment and upbringing. However, this is playing devil's advocate, because we know that the complete opposite happens just as much.
ReplyDelete